Here below you can view some highlights of the Great Isaac Barnes (me!) being featured BIG on the headlines and in the big news channels! I'm SO FAMOUS!
The following is an excerpt from the article “The End of the Barnes Bloodline?!” from the Euscailan’s Digest newspaper, published on March 25, 2025.
Source: www.digest.com.ec/common/end-of-barnes-bloodline/
In what should only be described as a television stunt gone awry, this week could very well mark the beginning of the end of the bloodline of the increasingly popular yet mediocre author and writer Isaac Barnes.
Isaac Barnes was on a television and radio tour to celebrate the publication of his four new books that were all published within the last four weeks. During the promotional tour, Barnes visited many television and radio stations, including one Euscail Morning Show yesterday. On set at the television studio, Barnes was to appear onto the show set from above, “angelically”, through the use of ropes and pulleys, he is to be “descended from the heavens” as fit with his “writing theme” of “unveiling only the truth that God can know.”
Barnes was injured severely in a mishap of the stunt, particularly in the gentlemen’s jewels. The accident occured when the crane was lowered too much and his gentlemen’s jewels, which were evidently “excited” to be on the show, was dipped into a boiling pot of coffee set out for the show’s hosts Ewan McGirson and Lady Marlane Frederica.
McGrison noted hilariously that he “won’t be drinking from that pot anymore, in fact, you should keep the pot as a souvenir from our show, Mr. Barnes,” which evoked a mass of laughter from the live crowd. Barnes gave them a weak thumbs-up as he was carried out on the stretcher by paramedics, after having his jewels extinguished by the on-hand fire extinguisher.
The following is an excerpt from the article “Isaac Barnes Spotted with New Woman” from the Celeb’s Gossip section of the Euscail Entertainment Weekly, published on July 27, 2025.
Source: www.euscailew.com/celebsgossip/2025/07/isaac-barnes-2/
It would seem that the prolific author Isaac Barnes has finally ditched his now-previous love affair with the highly parasitic whore Amelia Welks after some eight months together. They were engaged twice in those eight months after he first picked her up from a gas station mini-mart. Barnes has had many a woman, but Amelia Welks may be the most interesting story.
Some eight months ago, as he tells in an interview on his own website (while being interviewed by himself), he had met the “wonderfully beautiful and big tittied” Amelia Welks after stopping at a gas station at 2am needing to use the toilet. She was half asleep and took much too long to understand his request, and thus he had “pissed all over the floor like a dirty fucking dog”, but the day was saved when they got to know each other much better cleaning the piss-soaked floor together. They shared their first kiss right then and there; a kiss which later resulted in coitus, also right then and there where the piss stain was some twenty minutes ago.
After discovering that he was semi-famous and had a net income as high as $170 a month, their love blossomed and she quit her job and became stuck to him much like a parasite, trading in his hard-earned cash for genital-related favours (you know what).
However, yesterday, Issac Barnes was seen lunching with a different woman, of which we currently do not know her name, however it has been confirmed that they have started a relationship as he posted on his Twitter account: “FUCK the big tittied parasite! I have found a new BIG TITTIED woman and this one does NOT take my money! She INSISTS on paying! AMAZING! Ok, off to do it with her now. Peace x.”
We can only wait to see her possible true colours, or if this love will blossom much like his previous 100+ affairs in the past ten years we’ve been covering news on Issac Barnes.